'Since writing the book, I am totally and completely me' - Limerick icon McCarthy O'Brien on new book

LIMERICK ICON Jackie McCarthy O'Brien has released a memoir titled 'We Made It, Kid', a compelling account detailing her life both on and off the pitch. 

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The memoir, 'We Made It, Kid', tells the story of Jackie's extraordinary life. From being born in 1961 to an Irish mother and Jamaican father (whom she never met) in Birmingham to growing up in Limerick.

She was put in an industrial school as a baby by a priest for being an 'illegitimate' black child and not recovered by her mother until she was five.

As a teen she excelled at sport and played for the Irish Women's soccer team but when she was sexually harassed by a coach, she went on to represent the Irish Women's rugby team, becoming the first mixed-race player to represent the two sides.

Jackie got married at 21 before accepting her sexual feelings for women, and leaving the marriage with her three young children.

She is openly gay and has participated in Limerick Pride events, recently heading to Barcelona where Jackie was part of the West Of Ireland team that bid to host EuroPride in 2028, a bid Jackie and the team were successful in. 

The idea for the memoir had been brewing in the back of Jackie's mind for quite some time and it was through Tiktok where the Kileely native first got the idea to go ahead with the book.

"The idea for the book came about through this silly app called TikTok! I think it was International Women's Day and on that day my Mom seemed to be floating around me in spirit.

"I just done a little video where I dedicated International Women's Day to my hero and the strongest, bravest woman I ever knew.

"From that, it seemed to spark people an interest in my Mom. People were keen to know more about her and that's when I began to tell the stories about the industrial school and how I was taken from her.

"In doing that, I started to tell very Limerick stories. Talking about Shelbourne Park where I grew up, talking about being one of four black children in Limerick City and not seeing another black person until I was maybe 12 or 13.  

"So I suppose little by little, by telling my stories and putting up silly videos, it taught me not to take myself too seriously but also something within me needed to get out and it wasn't just on a TikTok format," she said. 

Jackie admits that she became more comfortable speaking about those issues as her inbox would be inundated with messages from people looking for advice and help. 

"My confidence grew with more and more people asking me and relating to the issues I spoke about in those videos. 

"I had a lot of messages coming through and I'm not a trained counsellor. My worry was that I'm not equipped to give advice so I thought the best thing I can do is write my story and if there's something they can take from it, great.

"We got five of the top publishers getting in on the pitch for the book but the best fit for me was Bonnier Books with Deidre Nolan because she knew I didn't want a sports book, I didn't want an industrial school book, it was a biography.

"It was about my life, the knock downs, the keep getting up. It wasn't 'poor me', it was a 'this is what life is like' for a black person living in Limerick who is also part of the LGBTQ+ community," she said. 

Jackie's pride, love and passion for both Limerick and Ireland shines through in everything that the 63-year-old does and she hopes that those feelings are clear for all to see in the book.

"I just hope my love for Limerick oozes out through the book and my love for being Irish. There were good sides and there were bad sides, it was important that that came through, that it wasn't all sweetness and brightness but this city of mine has amazing people," she said. 

The process for writing the book was tumultuous at times for Jackie, stating that it was difficult to put herself back in the shoes of her younger self but admits it was liberating and freeing to put those emotions and memories on paper. 

"I set three days aside from a Monday to a Wednesday, sat at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee, pen and paper in hand and I would sit with my thoughts and at times it was really hard.

"I would well up with emotions. I had to put myself back to being two, three or four years of age and that was extremely hard to put myself back there.

"There were a lot of tears but I was able to put my arm around little Jackie and say 'it's ok, we made it, kid.'

"Me going through that process again, whilst it pulled at my heart, it also could let me heal. I could put the trauma to bed, once it was on paper, it was a deep breath and there you go, it's there and I've said it.

"I know people say this about books, but since writing it, I feel for the first time in my life, I'm totally and completely me because I can let it go," she said. 

Writing the book and seeing her thoughts laid out on paper provided a sense of solace for the former Irish international, stating that the book is an homage to 'little Jackie.'

"I think sometimes we can hold onto trauma because we can keep it inside, it's still there but speaking out loud, putting pen to paper, that's when you own it. 

"From the minute I decided to write that book, I looked back at little me and in the research for the book, we were deciding which photos to use and we came across this one of me, a little chubby baby with a big head of hair but in the eyes all I can see is sadness.

"Every time I looked at that photo, my heart would tug. Being a Mom of four now, I wanted to look back and just hold her for two seconds and say 'it's ok, we made it, in spite of everything we're going to be ok.' This is my little homage to little Jackie," she said. 

Jackie re-iterated her love for Limerick and its inhabitants time and time again, recounting stories of when the people of Limerick had her back when it mattered most, stating that the Treaty County is her 'heart of hearts.'

"This is the city that has my back. I walk down the street. I'm not Jackie O'Brien or I'm not Jackie McCarthy, I'm 'our Jackie' and I have a sense of belonging in that city that I have strided for all my life.

"In Limerick City, I know that I can walk those streets. It has happened where I have had remarks thrown my way but without fail, there's someone there who has my back and that has happened on more than one occasion. 

"Visitors to the city, who thought it was ok to throw monkey noises my way and make jokes but let me tell you they were quickly ushered away by Limerick people. Limerick is my heart of hearts, I love the city.

"My fiancé is from America and we first started talking I said to her 'there's no point me in me talking to you because you're from America', because if you took me out of Limerick and Ireland, I would just die, I am Limerick through and through. 

"The people of Limerick have no airs and graces about them, nor have I, because if I ever tried to, they'd pull me back down to where I should and that's among the people I love.

"That's why I love Limerick, there's no airs and graces, we're just a community who have had our ups and downs but at the back of it, we'll get on with it and you could never be in a more welcoming place. It's my city and I will never live anywhere else," she said. 

McCarthy O'Brien, who was Grand Marshall for Limerick Pride in 2023, says she had to pinch herself on more than one occasion when launching the book in O'Mahony's on O'Connell Street earlier this month.

"Just to look down at the huge crowd that was in O'Mahony's that night and to see so many from Kileely. It's just amazing, the kid did make it and when I say made it, I made it into a community that showed me love. 

"I'm usually good with the gift of the gab but even I can't put it into words. My family were there, people were travelling for four or five hours to be there and to be honest I had imposter syndrome a bit.

"I felt a bit like 'do they know it's only my story?', because you don't even dare to dream that all of these people are there for you. Not to mind me being dyslexic having written a book that they want to buy, I was nearly there apologising! 

"When I looked down and saw my daughters and my grandchildren looking up saying 'Nan, you done it!', because they've been hearing about this book for over a year and there's my grandson holding the book, telling me how proud he is.

"It's those moments that are surreal. It's not for fame or anything like that, I've done it first and foremost for me and I just can't believe it to be honest. There aren't any words to describe my happiness," Jackie said. 

The Kileely native ties the knot this month and McCarthy O'Brien says that she can now move forward as a 'complete Jackie' having put her past to paper, whilst also having moments of fulfillment upon completing the book. 

"I get married this month to an amazing woman, I've been blessed. What's gone before has made me the woman I am today, to allow me to be with the wonderful woman that I found.

"We get married and we start a life with me putting all of that to paper. I've put it to bed and I can move forward now happy and content, as a complete Jackie.

"I'm not deeply religious, for my start in life obviously, I do talk to my God. I'm Irish, we all suffer with Catholic guilt and self-doubt and the notion that you can't talk about yourself because that's vanity or whatever but I find myself having moments where I'm actually saying 'ah boy the kid' to myself pinching myself to say 'you've done it, stand over it, they're your words' and that's it," she said. 

Sport played a pivotal role in Jackie's youth and her life as whole. It gave her that release growing up in a world where kindness wasn't often shown towards the former Shannon RFC player, stating that running offered her that element of escapism as early as six years-old.

"Sport was huge for me, my Mom lost a lovely bundle and she got back a tall, scrawny five and a half-year-old but by God I had some set of feet.

"Shelbourne Park is only a stone's throw from where I grew up and running was my release. The running club was set up there at the time and as I said, running was my release when I was six or seven. 

"Going around Shelbourne Park and just running, running, running. Thinking 'why am I different?', 'why do people call me the n-word?', 'why do I look like this?' and that was my escape," Jackie said. 

Jackie never met her biological father but in Mickey O'Brien she had a man who she could look up to and idolise and it was Mickey who pushed a young Jackie into the world of sport, a man she proudly calls her father.

"My Dad was a brilliant soccer player and he was also an All-Ireland Handball champion, Mickey wasn't my biological father but he was the man I idolosied and he saw that I was athletic whereas my Mom was more inclined to give me a dress.

"However, I would always pick the jersey and the shorts and go down to Shelbourne Park. So once I got involved in the soccer Dad would say 'let her off, let her play sport' and I think he was clever because he knew Limerick was sport mad.

"Once I got on a soccer pitch, like I've said 100 times, my head was up but when I was off it, it was down. Sport was my release, it was my escape.

"More Limerick people would congratulate me or speak to me because they had seen or heard that I had scored a goal or had played well. It gave me a little bit of confidence but something would always come up then to knock it," she said. 

Playing for and representing Ireland was something that meant the world to Jackie. The chance to represent the Irish Women's soccer team was taken from her when she was forced to leave the team after being sexually harassed by a coach, something which hurt the 63-year-old deeply. 

"When I made the Irish team and it was taken from me. That was devastating because that was nearly like putting me back in the industrial school.

"My sense of identity in playing for Ireland was so important to me because I needed to belong and when it went I didn't realise it would cut me so much," she said. 

In true Jackie McCarthy O'Brien fashion, she did not let those harrowing events keep her down and when she heard there was an Irish Women's rugby team, there was to be only one outcome. 

"Making the Munster team, I always wanted to pay in Thomond Park. I got to play my last match for Shannon there but once I do something I have to do it to the best of my ability.

"When I heard there was an Irish Women's rugby team, I told myself that I had to give it a go at least and I was lucky enough to play for a season or two. I made captain of the Irish A's, scored a World Cup try, everything I didn't achieve in soccer, I done in rugby," Jackie said.

When it was time for Jackie to hang up her boots, she departed the world of sport with no regrets, going out on a storybook ending, on the pitch that she worshipped from a young age.

"At the age of 40, it was like a sense of 'there's no more you can do' and the speed was starting to go but I was ending at the top. I said that's me done after the World Cup in 1998.

"I went on to play with Shannon for a season after, winning the All Ireland League (AIL) and I remember standing in Thomond Park and thinking 'you got everything you wanted out of it Jackie, look where you are, you're on the hallowed ground of Thomond Park' and I've no regrets.

"It was time for me to go, I had done everything I needed to do. Sport had given me that escapism, I was Irish and no one could take that away from me," Jackie concluded.