Victim Impact Statement: Did people ever ask why is he taking me away so often?

“WHY did nobody ask why “a 30-odd-year-old man (Fr Terry Loughran) was spending so much time with a young boy?”
This is a question the sexually abused teenager asked in his victim impact statement.

Prosecuting barrister John O’Sullivan read out the statement on behalf of the victim at Limerick Circuit Court.

“Not once was I ever asked, are you OK? Where did you sleep at his house or when we went to stay in a hotel? Did people ever ask why is he taking me away on so many foreign trips, concerts and football matches? That boy was alone and felt like I had nobody to turn to and to ask for help.

“People within the community can say they were fooled by this man over the years but what they should have done is looked out for me and others like me and asked a very simple question - why a 30-odd-year-old man was spending so much time with a young boy?

“They also need to acknowledge the fact that they had a responsibility and duty of care for me and other boys on trips away which they failed in. These people within the community who say he fooled them need to know that their lack of action has affected my life forever. The people who still stand by or question me or question anybody else that were sexually abused by him should hang their heads in shame.”

The victim said he wanted to give a voice and a platform for that “young, happy, innocent, shy, fragile 11 year-old-boy who he groomed, spoiled with gifts and trips away so he could sexually abuse me repeatedly over a number of years”.

“Throughout this whole criminal process I had to tell the story as a young boy and how the trauma of being sexually abused at the hands of this monster has affected me as I got older. This process, as long and difficult as it has been, was made even more difficult by his actions and behaviour. He pleaded not guilty leading up to the trial. I had to endure the most difficult experience of my life where I had to tell 12 strangers and more the details of how he groomed me and physically, sexually, mentally assaulted me. And all the while he sat near me shaking his head in denial as to what he inflicted on me.

“The trauma of being up on the witness box telling the truth and letting him hear it from my mouth for the first time should fill me with pride and strength but it has broken me. I owe it to that young boy that never had a voice. As difficult as it was for me to get into the witness box and tell you my story of how this monster groomed me, destroyed my childhood and my teens, that was the day the power he had over me evaporated from me. I will still live with the trauma, the emotional and physical pain over the years of sexual abuse I endured from him but that power he had over me is gone.”

The victim impact statement sets out how growing up that young boy was “so unhappy, depressed and suicidal”.

“Even at an early age I was thinking the only way for this sexual abuse to stop was for me to commit suicide. I could never get away from him, he was always around. I feel ashamed and embarrassed every single day of my life for not protecting and speaking up for the young boy as I was getting older, especially when I knew that what was happening to me was not right and needed to stop. Every night he touched me, every time he climbed on top of me and every time he performed sex acts on me for his own sexual pleasure he killed that young boy piece by piece until I didn't feel any emotion or feeling towards the sexual abuse,” read out Mr O’Sullivan from the statement which calls Fr Loughran a “disgusting, cowardly, predatory, perverted groomer”.

The victim said even though the sexual abuse he received from Fr Louhgran was over 20 years ago he “still abuses me in my nightmares, in my thoughts and any time something triggers me”.

“I find myself going back to that horrible time in my life whether it's a certain smell, certain music, even the way he eats loudly - they can trigger me - and immediately I feel myself getting depressed, quiet, and wanting to be alone.”
The victim thanked the court, jury and especially Detective Garda David Boland for helping him through this process and to all the gardai involved.