'A culture of hostility and intimidation' - Irish teacher unravels dangerous epidemic among boys

“I’m not sure what more schools can do to address this issue.” This is what one Irish teacher had to say about the increasingly worrying influence harmful hyper masculine content online is having on young boys in secondary schools. According to her, this alarming trend is manifesting in schools through behavioural issues, rampant homophobia, an unhealthy obsession with gym culture and appearances, and an increase in some forms of aggressive behaviour.

What exactly is an incel?

The term ‘incel’ has become more relevant in recent times as it has made its way into the real world and out of just the online bubble that many of us are guilty of getting lost in. For those fortunate enough not to know what an incel is, it technically means ‘involuntary celibate.’ Essentially, it is an online term for young men who consider themselves unable to attract women and this typically manifests into hostile views towards women.

Netflix’s Adolescence which was released earlier this year brought this online concept to life through showing how a 13-year-old boy struggling with typical pubescent issues of body image, self-worth and loneliness led to an extreme act of violence; the murder a girl who rejected him due to his over exposure to such negative online content. Although it was fiction, Adolescence was heavily praised for showing parents what young boys are exposed to online and the consequences it can lead to.

Of course, that is an extreme and fictitious example. And not all young boys are exposed to or would identify themselves as incels, not in the slightest. However, it is a growing phenomenon and parents must be aware that it is a branch of this hyper masculine content online. One thing that the incel culture and other hyper masculine content has in common is this aggressive and derogatory attitude towards women as portrayed by figures such as Andrew Tate.

I spoke to a young Irish teacher who has worked in four different secondary schools in the south-east in the past five years. One of the schools she worked in was an all-boys school and it was there that she truly got an insight into this serious issue among teenage boys in Ireland. It was not confined to comment sections on social media, it was in classrooms.

She said that the incel culture is not as vocally discussed in schools, “but the hyper-masculinity is something that is very clearly observable in the classroom setting.”

Although she noted that incel culture is more so an online phenomenon, she said: “It bleeds in different ways. I think that it manifests in the classroom as a general negative outlook towards healthy relationships and female peers. You wouldn't hear that as much in the classroom, but it presents in a general attitude. And even just in the way that maybe a female peer or a female teacher is just generally vaguely disrespected, kind of shown like a root cause or a root level of disrespect.”

What boys are most susceptible to this sort of behaviour?

Teenagers are naturally predisposed to being easily influenced by attitudes or behaviours. Sports and clubs have always been a way to counteract any negative influence on young boys, however given today’s society, it does not make them exempt, although it can help.

In regard to sport, she reflected: “I'm not sure that they're necessarily excluded from these behaviours, but they definitely seem to have that sense of community and they're maybe a little bit more settled.”

She added: “What I've noticed is that online gaming is really, really a huge influence on young lads and consuming social media. It's all YouTube, it's all Twitch, it's all Instagram, TikTok, stuff like that.

“Social media seems to be their biggest influence if they're not specifically associated with a sports club. There are some students who are associated with a church and I find that actually kind of mellows out kids a little bit.”

The teacher pointed out that there is more of an emphasis on gaming and social media among younger students, whereas Ireland’s drinking culture tends to have a greater influence on older students.

When asked what age she tends to notice this form of negative or performative masculine behaviour, she said that it more so depends on the individual. However, there are first year students who display this type of behaviour right through to sixth years.

She shared: “Though I would argue from my experience that it's second year and sixth year where you would probably see that type of behaviour modelled more often than not, or more regularly or more frequently.”

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An unhealthy obsession with the gym

Diving into this topic, the behavioural issues with teenage boys that seem to be exacerbating in recent times was expected, although only to an extent. However, what this female teacher brought to my attention was the concerning gym culture among young Irish men. No, this isn't misbehaviour in school. But it is a worrying path many are being led down which is leading to serious issues with self-esteem and the ability to keep up with school work.

She explained: “In Ireland, a lot of young lads in fifth and sixth year are getting up early before school, an hour or two before school, taking supplements, taking creatine, and God knows what else in order to be able to go to a gym to achieve a body type and a specific appearance that they feel they need to have. But they're putting themselves under extreme pressure.”

This is something which particularly stood out to her among young boys across the schools she’s worked in. She even said that some boys have injured themselves, some quite seriously, whilst working out.

She continued: “I have so many students who are coming to school wrecked every day because they're hitting the gym at five and six o'clock in the morning before they ever even have breakfast." She added that these boys are exhausted and are then fuelling their bodies with unhealthy caffeinated drinks throughout the school day.

The gym may seem like a healthy outlet for young boys and it absolutely can be. However, the culture surrounding the gym is not healthy and parents should actually be asking how it is affecting their sons. As this teacher points out, the students she teaches are not managing to get their school work done at all because of the gym.

She also raised the point: “A lot of parents as well, don't have the knowledge or the information that they would need about the supplements, the pre-workouts, the creatines, the protein powders, the shakes, the bars, like even I myself don't fully understand it. It's an awful lot of strain on a young man's body.” So, how is this a healthy outlet?

This obsession with the gym directly stems from online fitness content and the pressure placed on young men to look a certain way - something which has always been seen as an issue for young women. She shared: “It seems there's more pressure than ever for young boys to look and behave a certain way and to present themselves a certain way, whether it's hairstyle or body fat or even the way they're physically built up.”

As someone who teaches SPHE classes, she said she has noticed that the issue of self-esteem has previously been more relevant to girls but now that is not necessarily the case. The ‘Looksmaxxing’ trend on TikTok which supposedly maximises a person’s physical attractiveness through a filter did the rounds recently. For boys, it typically showed pronounced jawlines and she said it was a popular trend among young people. And although it was a laugh for most, “there was a real kernel of insecurity there” as many thought they did need to look like those men in order to be attractive.

The dangerous side to hyper masculinity

Then there’s the more anti-social, and arguably dangerous, side to this hyper masculine culture festering within Irish secondary schools. A major aspect to this form of online content is homophobia and this is something that is becoming rampant among young boys.

The secondary school teacher revealed: “There's a huge issue of homophobia, especially among young lads. I'm actually really taken aback by it considering all of the changes and all of the developments that have happened in the recent years.

“Like I've had many issues with slurs and the use of slurs, and aggravated language. There's a culture of hostility and intimidation, and it's not necessarily even targeted at someone who presents themselves as being gay or LGBTQ+. It’s targeted at each other.”

She added: “It's really bad and boys are more vocal and more confident in it than ever. If you call them out on it in the classroom, they'll say, ‘I'm entitled to have my opinion’ or ‘I'm entitled to think what I want.’”

Then there’s the notable increase in aggressive behaviour towards teachers. This teacher said from her experience: “I’m not sure in all schools, but across my years teaching, I've noticed an increase in certain aggressive behaviour. There's threatening, demonstrative and performative language and body language, and aggression towards perceived slights.

“I've seen a lot of threats. I've heard a lot of threats. I've seen a lot of angry body language, throwing a bag at the desk, throwing a bag on the floor, moving a chair aggressively, speaking under the tone, getting angry. I've had students stand up and physically move into my space, but I know teachers who have experienced a push or a shove, but nothing too intense.”

That being said, surely that is still across the line for what a teacher should have to deal with when they have twenty plus other students in a class and a syllabus they need to complete. And as she said herself, “what do you do with a student who’s in that place?”

She said that verbal abuse is becoming more common and “repeated, ongoing, targeted negative behaviour towards a teacher is becoming more commonplace.” She even said that some female teachers have experienced violent behaviour from male students. “I know many teachers who've left or are considering it or openly talk about it. ‘I just want to be able to do my job’ is a repeated sentiment.”

She explained: “The fact of the matter is there's a code of conduct and behaviour in schools, and it is often the case that a student who is struggling or a student who is presenting with these behaviours may fully escalate up the ladder of behaviours in their first year.

“They can't be expelled because of the age that they are, and maybe they don't have the support at home. What do you do with a student then who's 12 or 13 and has been exhibiting these behaviours? There's really not much you can do. There's no ultimate consequence.”

How are schools and parents handling this?

This is an issue that goes beyond Ireland and many would agree there’s only so much schools and teachers can do, and this is a point she herself stresses. She does point out that the SPHE course has been recently rejuvenated to tackle online issues such as publishing online materials and revenge porn with the likes of Coco’s Law.

There has been a greater emphasis placed on these relevant issues, how you should behave online, what’s legal and illegal to do online, nudes and general toxic culture. Additionally, she said training is available for teachers to teach certain parts of the course in detail regarding Relationships and Sexual Education. This type of course work starts in third year.

However, there has been pushback on this from parents. She shared: “At parent-teacher meetings I've been tackled by parents who don't want their children to be involved in it at all. And I've had to sit down, I've had to break down the course with them and explain that you teach to the class that's in front of you, you know your kids, you know what maturity level they're at, the course is there and it gets in more detail every year as they get older.

“But I've had parents pull their children out of those classes completely because they don't want their children there and it's actually, now that I think about it, it's actually all been boys that have been pulled out of those classes because their parents don't want them to be involved, whether it's for religious reasons or for personal reasons.

“They don't want their child to be exposed to what they deem to be damaging materials. But the fact is they're probably already exposed to them and this course is specifically designed to give them the knowledge and the language and the information that they need so that they can interpret it and decide what they're going to do with it themselves.”

From this teacher’s perspective, it’s imperative that parents play a bigger role in ensuring their teenage sons are safe online and that the responsibility does not fall entirely on schools. We are all aware the world is becoming more polluted by harmful online content and so I asked her, are parents naive about what their children are doing online, in school and out in the world.

She pondered: “I'm not sure if it's naivety or willing blindness. Social media and online behavior is rapidly changeable, and I don't blame parents for being unaware of the full scope of behaviour online, in school and out in the world. I've observed an element of fatigue and stress with parents regarding this, especially as the child gets older.

“There's an element there as well of I've tried everything I can, I don't know what more I'm supposed to do here. It's important, albeit very difficult, to manage when parents themselves are busy.”

She admitted: “I don't blame parents for not knowing the full scope. But I do think it is important that they do know and educate themselves as best they can.”

Where is this behaviour leading?

It can be bleak to look around the streets and see the gangs of young teenage boys causing nothing but trouble and think they are the next generation. It sounds harsh but it is the reality and it is what many people are saying. So where is this behaviour leading?

From the students she sees everyday, this teacher’s assessment is: “I believe there are some who may struggle to establish respectful strong bonds with female peers and partners. I really feel like mental health is going to be a concern down the line.

“I think when they move outside of the school climate, they're going to struggle to understand how certain behaviours are not actually acceptable or certain language is not going to be acceptable or tolerated in the real world.

“And what is a detention in school is actually far more serious outside of school.”