'He was our Cúchulainn' - Limerick hurler Paul Carey is laid to rest

“AS we put the love of my life to rest today, we only bury his body. His spirit, his zest for life and his amazing ability to give, lives on.”

A heartbroken wife stood at the lectern of the Church of the Blessed Virgin in Patrickswell this Saturday afternoon to pay tribute to the man who showed her “the deepest love and partnership that I could have ever imagined”, her husband, Paul.

Anna Carey met Paul Carey, one of the well-known and respected Careys of Patrickswell, when he took her on a date under the guise of a staff party, over 10 years ago.

All her hopes and dreams of enjoying a long and happy life together with their son Fionn, and their baby she is carrying, came to an abrupt and tragic end on November 9 last.

Local gardai delivered the sad news to the family that Paul had passed away following a car accident in Dubai. Paul had planned to come back to Patrickswell to live with his wife and son full-time at Christmas, with a job in a secondary school lined up, working as an English and religion teacher.

“I only had 10 years with Paul but as brokenhearted as I am today, in the darkest and saddest moments of my life, I have realised,” she said, breaking down in tears, “how lucky I have been. We had 10 amazing years of the deepest love and partnership that I could have ever imagined. Paul made me feel supported, understood, respected and completely and utterly loved and I will carry that with me always.”

As per Covid-19 guidelines only a small number of immediate family and friends could attend the funeral Mass. However, over 1,000 tuned in on the parish website right across the globe - from Ballybrown and Ballylanders to Boston and Brunei. During his 41-years, the ‘Well man had left footprints all over the world.

Mourners heard how Paul was called Contrary Carey by his friends “but by God he made you feel special and alive,” said Anna. That was his gift. 

“Paul often told me how much strength he gets from me but he was my rock and my life,” she continued. “He knew the right words to say to allay my many worries and fears. Most importantly, he gave me Fionn who brings so much joy to everyone around him.”

The little lad, wearing a tiny black waistcoat, bravely srode up to the altar to give his aunt Valerie Lynch a black and white photo of himself with his smiling parents. It was one of a number of gifts which symbolised the loves of Paul’s life. 

“Paul was most proud to have his beautiful wife Anna and Fionn,” said Valerie. “We are now her family and Paul knows that we will commit our love and passion and loyalty because he is a man of morals and values and family is everything. We have learned this so much this week.” 

There was also a sliotar among the gifts. It was, Valerie said, “a symbol of conviction for Paul”.

“He was our Cúchulainn,” she noted. “He focused on it. He grabbed it. He controlled it. He had vision. He extinguished all obstacles and hindrances in his way and drove onto the target and scored and achieved all his goals”.

The coffin carrying the remains of the father-of-one was draped in the Patrickswell and Limerick jerseys. It had been positioned tenderly by undertakers at the top of the altar just after noon when Paul’s immediate family including his four sisters and five brothers took their seats in the two front pews of the church.  

Paul, mourners heard, loved music. The song sung at the opening of the Mass was Bruce Springsteen’s, My Home Town. In Paul’s home town, The Well, he had learned to hurl and passed on his skills to his nieces and nephews. There were great games near the pink cherry blossom tree in Faha, Paul’s second place of dwelling in the parish. And not forgetting the blaming that went on for the damage caused to Angela Bennis’ window. These were good times.

“Marian Park, Patrickswell was the dream place to live,” said Paul’s brother Sean of the home the 10 Carey siblings were raised in. “Not alone are the neighbours old time friends and are the best in their kindness and care but just behind our back hedge lay the most sacred of places, the Patrickswell hurling field. We would need a contract  from Netflix to create a movie to show the love and pride Paul had for his club, Tobar Phádraig,” said the brother.

On the journey from Paul’s home in Roseville, Patrickswell where he has been laid out on Friday night, the cortege stopped momentarily at the GAA grounds as a mark of respect.

Sean brought the story of Paul’s almost 42 years on this earth to life along with his sister Marie Quain who each took turns in recounting old stories before reciting a moving tribute to Paul in the form of a poem by their brother Kevin.

Paul, of course, loved his hurling. Sean hoped “it is appropriate to wish our Limerick hurlers the best on Sunday.

“We thank them for their off-field actions and indeed to the Limerick County Board, as a family,” he said.

Fr Mike Cussen, PP, of Patrickswell and Ballybrown parish who was assisted by Monsignor Michael Lane and Fr Éamonn Fitzgibbon spoke of the sadness being felt by Fionn’s young school friends.

“They are sad because Fionn is sad,” he said, reciting the night prayer for the five-year-old.

Fionn knows he is never alone in the dark of night, said Fr Cussen. 

“Guard me in the dark of night and in the morning send your light, so no matter how dark the night is, the morning will come and that is our hope in the midst of our grief today,” he offered.

While a heartbroken Anna acknowledged that “things will never be the same from now on” and that “a future without Paul feels bleak and meaningless” she said the day “we brought him home” she felt him with her.

“I felt him holding me and giving me the strength needed to keep going, and", she said, "I know that he will be here guiding us still.”

Beloved son of Pa and the late Patricia (Patsy), Paul Carey is deeply regretted by Anna and Fionn, brothers Sean, Pa, Ciaran, Nigel and Kevin, sisters Valerie Lynch, Caroline Ryan, Deirdre Carey and Marie Quain, mother-in-law Jasmine, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, Deparroco family, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, relatives, kind neighbours and his many friends. He was laid to rest in St Mary's New Cemetery, Patrickswell.

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam dílis.