Facial Pain Awareness Month but what if the pain can’t be seen?

October marked Facial Pain Awareness Month, and for many of us living with Trigeminal Neuralgia, every day feels like walking through a storm no one else can see. It’s one of the most painful conditions known to medicine — often called “the suicide disease” because of the unbearable, electric-shock pain it causes. Affecting an estimated 4 to 29 people per 100,000 worldwide, it’s considered rare — and often misunderstood.
If you passed me on O’Connell Street, you’d probably think I look fine. And that’s the hardest part. Because behind the smile, behind the make-up, there are days when I can’t brush my teeth, feel the wind on my face, or even talk without agony. The pain comes like lightning bolts — sharp, unpredictable, and invisible.

READ MORE: ‘Timing is everything in this kind of diagnosis,' Limerick mother urges
I was first diagnosed after a severe flare sent me to hospital, but it took years to confirm the cause. Scan after scan came back clear. “Everything looks normal,” I was told — but nothing felt normal. It wasn’t until four and a half years later that an MRI finally showed the truth: an artery pressing against my trigeminal nerve. It was both relief and heartbreak — proof at last, but after so many years of doubt.
As a busy mum of two, juggling work, family life, and the daily chaos that comes with it, I suddenly found myself unable to do the most ordinary things. Cooking dinner, brushing my hair, even meeting friends became moments I had to plan around the pain.
People meant well, but the phrase “You look great, so you must be feeling better” cut deeper than they knew. Trigeminal Neuralgia, like many invisible illnesses, doesn’t show up on the outside — and that’s exactly why awareness matters.

The unseen battle
When your illness is invisible, you become an expert at hiding. You learn to measure smiles so they don’t trigger spasms, to nod through conversations when you can’t form words, to excuse yourself when your face burns with pain no one else can feel.
But you also learn something else: empathy. You begin to see that everyone is carrying something unseen. That awareness changed me. It made me realise how many people in our own communities are silently enduring — not just those with chronic pain, but anyone whose struggles are invisible.
That’s what led me to write my memoir, But You Look Just Fine, launched earlier this year here in Limerick. It’s not a medical book; it’s a human story — one of rediscovering joy, gratitude, and self-worth in the midst of illness. Because when pain strips everything away, what’s left is your choice to keep showing up — to find light, even if it’s flickering.

How families and workplaces can help
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that kindness and curiosity make all the difference. Words can heal or harm, and often, the smallest changes in how we speak can open the biggest doors to understanding.
Here are a few ways families, friends, and employers can support someone living with invisible pain:
Believe them the first time. You don’t need proof to show empathy. Validation eases the isolation.
Be flexible. Chronic pain doesn’t follow a schedule. If plans fall through, offer grace instead of guilt.
Stay connected. A text, a meal, or a quiet visit means the world. It says: “You’re not forgotten.”
And in workplaces, compassion can be transformative. Flexibility, hybrid options, or simply checking in can help employees manage pain without losing dignity or purpose.

Living with light again
For a long time, I thought joy was something I’d find after the pain — once it ended, once life returned to “normal.” But I’ve learned joy isn’t what comes after the storm — it’s what carries us through it.
Now, when I walk through Limerick — past the cafés and familiar streets — I see people differently. I think of how many are hiding their own pain behind brave faces. Facial Pain Awareness Month is about more than one condition; it’s a call to look deeper, to listen better, and to remember that invisible doesn’t mean imaginary.
I may live with chronic pain, but I also live with purpose. And my hope this October is simple: that more people will understand what Trigeminal Neuralgia is — and more importantly, who it affects. It could be your neighbour, your co-worker, or the person next to you in line at the shop. You might never know — unless we start talking about it.
So, if you know someone who’s struggling with “something” but looks “just fine,” check in, listen, and share this story. Because sometimes, the strongest people you’ll ever meet are the ones fighting battles you’ll never see.

About the Author
Michele Roys is a Limerick-based author, speaker, and host of The Michele Roys Show podcast. Her memoir, But You Look Just Fine: My Journey to Rediscover Joy Amidst Chronic Pain and Invisible Illness, was released in March 2025.