COLUMN: The silly questions hotel and guesthouse visitors ask that receptionists are sick of

Picture this - You stumble into a charming hotel or guesthouse in the back of nowhere at the crack of 12pm, a suitcase in one hand and Google Maps in the other, only to be greeted with a sympathetic smile and a gentle reminder that your room won't be ready until the clock strikes three - and a not so gentle reminder that no amount of disgruntled sighing will make the time go faster. 

"Why the late check-in?" you ask, eyes wide with disbelief. Well, as a former housekeeper turned receptionist at a guesthouse situated in one of the Wild Atlantic Way's most popular scenic spots, there's a thing or two you should know about the realities of hospitality.

Firstly, let's address the breakfast policy. Believe me, I understand the struggle of bidding farewell to a cosy nest, especially if there were one too many pints consumed the night before at the residents' bar, and traipsing downstairs, mascara stuck to our white linen pillow cases, into the overly bright guest dining room because you just had to holiday by the sea.

"Can't you just stick on a rasher and a sausage for me?" Unfortunately, no, you will not be served a hot meal after the kitchen closes as the chef is no longer working, you may however fight for what's left of the continental option. 

Check-out and check-in times often perplex guests. "Can we just have 20 more minutes?" or "I'll just take any room that's ready" are common queries. Behind the scenes, our unsung heroes – the housekeeping staff armed with vacuum cleaners and bleach – toil tirelessly to ensure each room shines.

Also, they've encountered their fair share of surprises, from forgotten dentures by the sink and downstairs hairs in the showers to hidden kiwis in beds (yes, all have happened). In larger hotels, early check-in or late check-out might be feasible, but for smaller establishments, every minute counts as they juggle cleaning up to 20 rooms a day, as well as many communal areas like living rooms and hallways. 

As for taking any room available, each guest has been allocated a room based on their reservation. Online, they can view their room before booking, and if they don't then receive that room because another guest wanted to arrive an hour before advised and refused to wait, that means the receptionist on duty needs to take two ibuprofen before bed to relieve the headache from trying to rearrange 15 reservations. 

With those FAQs put to bed (that wasn't even intentional), enjoy your stay!