Grief a ‘tough journey but we are getting a bit stronger every day’: Olive Foley

SR HELEN Culhane and Olive Foley – two remarkable women in their own right – are working together to help children through tough times.

Sr Helen set up the Children’s Grief Centre in Limerick in 2009. Tragically, it is a service that Olive needed after the passing of her husband, Munster rugby legend Anthony Foley. She kindly donated €30,000 from the sales of a commemorative match day programme to the charity. Olive is now an official ambassador of the centre.

Sr Helen said: “Her recognition of the work being done here at the Children’s Grief Centre is truly humbling. We thank Olive for her volunteered time and dedication to supporting the work we do and together we will continue making a difference in the lives of children and young people.”

Sr Helen, Limerick Person of the Year 2017 and Olive, who received a lifetime achievement award at the Person of the Year awards the previous year on behalf of her late husband Anthony, sat down with Joe Nash on Limerick Today on Live 95FM. A few weeks after Anthony’s death in October 2016 the principal of her sons’ – Tony and Dan – school passed on Helen’s number.

“Over the last year and a half she has supported the kids and really seen them through a very difficult time so I have really seen first hand the work she has done. It is quite extraordinary to be able to give children a beautiful place where they can go to, and express themselves through talking, express emotions through art and all these different lovely mediums. She and her staff do incredible work,” said Olive.

“Children who are bereaved from death, separation, divorce, they will often need somewhere they can go and can be heard themselves. What I have seen with my children is they go in to see Helen, they would sit down and talk about themselves mainly, do drawings and express emotions. They are stronger children as a result of that I do believe.” After Anthony’s sudden passing on that fateful day Olive’s grief is unimaginable.

“I was grieving myself so it is great to hand the children over for that hour, knowing they will be listened to and cared for and their needs will be met. I didn’t know how to deal with grieving children myself – it was new to me, it is a learning curve. It is the support I got as well that has helped the children through,” said Olive.

Sr Helen set up the centre so that it wouldn’t be a counselling or a therapy service.

“I’ve found what children most need is a listening ear. I wanted to give them a space with no stigma attached to coming,” said Sr Helen.

Olive said they dealing with their grief minute by minute.

“We have bad minutes and good minutes. It is still minute by minute and day by day. We are only a year and a half down the road.  It is nearly a life sentence but we are getting a little bit stronger every day. It is a tough journey,” said Olive.

And Sr Helen will be by Olive and her children’s side every step of the way on that journey.