Then & Now: Traditions for Irish funerals

WE IRISH do funerals very well with everyone rallying around to make sure that family and loved ones of the deceased are taken care of. The farewell days become a community occasion with people providing support at the house/wake, reposing, Mass, burial and get together afterwards. The deceased may be brought home and waked for one or two nights in familiar surroundings with candles, flowers and holy objects placed around the room. In the coffin can be placed items that define the person (maybe jewellery, cigarettes, sweets, lipstick, scarf, hat, etc) and photos.

The relations, neighbours and close friends call to offer sympathy, reminiscing about and gently touching the deceased. The kitchen is a hive of activity, and nobody is allowed home without a few ham sandwiches and an assortment of cakes. In olden times drink was freely available but the drink driving licence put an end to that. The wake offers people a chance to share stories about the deceased from the cross section of people present. From childhood years, teenage antics, work duties, family occasions are all recalled with fondness. It doesn't seem strange to be chatting about the person in the coffin, feeling like they are with us.

The reposing can be at the family home, funeral parlour, church etc, and it offers the wider community a chance to attend and pay their last respects to the person and family members. Unlike the wake, people pass through the queue more quickly as time does not allow long chats. A montage of photographs of the deceased playing on a screen, is a welcome addition as people file through. A book of condolences is available for the attendees to sign, and this is a source of comfort afterwards for the bereaved to read.

The hymns and music during the Requiem Mass is chosen to suit the bereaved tastes and enhances the ceremony. There is a large selection of hymns, songs, and musical airs to choose from and between the family and musicians/singers a number are selected. A holy selection includes Ave Maria, Amazing Grace, Lady of Knock, Be Not Afraid, There is a Place, which are popular during the ceremony. I like “Precious Lord, Take My Hand” which is not heard that much but is a powerful and touching hymn.
Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I'm tired, I’m weak, I’m lone
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When my way grows drear precious Lord linger near
When my light is almost gone
Hear my cry, hear my call
Hold my hand lest I fall
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When the darkness appears and the night draws near
And the day is past and gone
At the river I stand
Guide my feet, hold my hand
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I'm tired, I’m weak, I’m lone
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

The most popular songs sung at funeral's generally include You’ll Never Walk Alone, My Way, Wind Beneath My Wings, Time to Say Goodbye, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, Angels, The Best, The Old Man. One of the most moving of Irish Funeral songs is the Eva Cassidy rendition of ‘Fields of Gold’, that has been sung at many Irish funerals. This is a beautiful song anyone who has lost a loved one can find comfort in. The lyrics, “we will walk in fields of gold”, portrays how we will all be reunited someday with those we have lost. There’s rarely a dry eye in sight when this song is sung.

Nothing Compares 2 U is the definitive Irish song of love and heartbreak. This song, made famous by Sinéad O'Connor, was actually written by Prince, but always remembered as an Irish song about love and loss. There is a Place by Liam Lawton is another favourite with people as it touches all people's hearts. 'May it Be' sung by Enya is a truly haunting and calm song. Everything seems to slow down, and life feels like it comes to a gentle pause for a moment in time.

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She Moved Through the Fair is another traditional song from the Irish folk genre and is one of the best Irish funeral songs. It is a moving song and has even been composed by Sinead O’Connor. The Parting Glass song is particularly moving as the lyrics are those of the passing person. The story of the song comes from a custom in many countries where the departing guest would be given a final drink before they left on their travels. When this is played at a funeral, we can take it as the deceased’s final farewell.

Remember Me composed and sung by Christy Hennessy is another song that impacts when sung at funerals.
Remember me whenever
you’re blue
Remember me when there’s
no one holding you
Any time you feel like you
can’t make it through
Remember me and I will be
with you.

Remember me whenever
you’re afraid
And when you lose your
dreams along the way
Any time you feel like you
can’t make it through
Remember me and I will be
with you.

Every night and every day I’ll
be by your side
Just reach out and take my
hand and I will be your guide
And any time you feel like you
can’t make it through
Remember me and I will be
with you.

Remember me whenever
you’re afraid
Remember me if there’s
someone in my place
Any time you feel like you
can’t make it through
Remember me and I will be
with you.

As the coffin departs the church a special tune or song most associated with the deceased is aired. It can be aimed at their native place (Shanagolden, Newport Town, Sean South of Garryowen), singers’ favourite song, (Limerick You’re a Lady) sporting interests (There is an Isle) Going out the same way as I came in etc. Final spoken and music/song tributes can be paid following the burial prayers. Each family does their best at this most difficult time to give their loved one a good send off.
What makes the Irish funeral so special is the stories we share about our loved ones. We are renowned as a nation of storytellers and love nothing better than paying tribute to someone through the magic of words. Once the rituals are over the stories heard will remain with their loved ones.

These recalls provide consolation and comfort and become memories and eventually treasured gifts. They are the things that gets the bereaved through the difficult days and months ahead. We don't know what lies ahead after death, but we Irish hope we did the deceased proud and that they enjoyed the story of their life (wherever they are) as recalled by those who loved them.