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Hooker’s Diary: I need a celebration technique

As always, John Hogan's Hooker's Diary provides an entertaining read

As always, John Hogan's Hooker's Diary provides an entertaining read

In his Limerick Leader column, John Hogan looks for help with a celebration style he is very unlikely to ever use.

Readers, I require your input and assistance on something of great importance. I’m trying to figure out the best way to make the figure of a celebratory ‘H’ with my hands after I score a try or carry out some other heroic act on behalf of Bruff RFC. You see I’ve noticed one of Munster’s young guns doing the same thing when he scores a try and I’m just so taken with how cool he looks that I’m determined to replicate his celebration but with my own twist.

The fact that my surname starts with a ‘H’ however presents some difficulties as it’s not as easy to make the shape of that letter with my hands as it is to make, say for example, a ‘Z’.

Now my interest in rugby was first piqued by the likes of John Hayes, Anthony Foley and Peter Clohessy, all of whom would have balked at the idea of even pumping a fist in celebration, not to mind appearing as if they were about to get a chorus of YMCA going every time they did something praiseworthy. But we’re living in a brave new world folks where it’s just not enough anymore to let out a joyous ‘Yes!’ and enjoy a celebratory pat on the arse from a teammate when you score.

One needs a celebration ritual that is unique to oneself, possibly even trademark-able, something that keeps the attention on you, the try-scorer, and not just on the minor detail that your team has accumulated a few points.

Maybe once I’ve nailed down how to make a ‘H’ with my hands, I could even develop the celebration further to take in other achievements on the pitch. I could go with the capital letter for when I score a try, but in fairness you might be waiting a few seasons to see that. So perhaps a lower-case ‘h’ might be in order for every time I make a tackle? Maybe I could incorporate my legs into the process and create a ‘J’ for every time I hit a ruck?

I haven’t ironed out all the specifics of it yet but I reckon I’m onto something here. Without a doubt this is going to catch on and I don’t want to look like the only chump a year down the line who doesn’t have his own unique frolic to mark an achievement on the field. All input from Limerick Leader readers is welcome both on letter creation with ones limbs and on how to legally trademark a celebration.

Tuesday

There wasn’t much time for discussing my celebration ideas at training this evening. In fact there wasn’t much time for even handling a rugby ball as tonight consisted mostly of pushing the body to vomitous extremes with a series of circuits in the gym and sprints around the Kilballyowen nature trail.

For those unfamiliar with said trail, it’s actually a lovely amenity that goes around the entire Bruff RFC grounds. This evening, though, I temporarily detracted from the trail’s natural beauty by carrying out an impression of an exhausted and severely inebriated donkey while stumbling through the final few torturous laps.

Thursday

It was suggested to me this evening by our fullback Brendan Deady that I should use my journalistic pulpit as a way to generate business for some of the other lads on the team. He said that if I were to subtly incorporate some free advertising into the diary for teammates, it might go some way towards mending the bridges I’ve broken over the years by detailing their exploits, both good and bad, in print. I told Brendan – whose ability on the pitch is only second to his prowess as a plumber, evidence of which can be found on www.brendandeady.com - that I was a journalist and it was an insult to even suggest such prostitution of my noble profession.

Saturday

Trips to the North of Ireland are never easy and they don’t come more difficult than trips to table-toppers Ballynahinch who we played today. It’s still a bit too painful to even record the final score here but I’m sure you’ll find it elsewhere in these pages. Sufficed to say though, that not one occasion presented itself on Saturday that would have required me to reach into my new arsenal of celebrations. There’s always the New Year.

>>> John also does a fortnightly podcast called Hoge ‘n’ Smith that can be downloaded on iTunes or from

www.hogensmith.com.

 

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