Twelve steps back to the dance floor
A champion dancer in his youth, Jimmy Coleman from Cappamore loved to step out. Unfortunately he came to love the bottle too and for most of his adult life has grappled with addiction. He tells Donal O'Regan how he came to terms with his problem and, with the help of his family, returned triumphantly to the dance floor
THE new year is a time when many people try to end their dependence on drink or drugs, gambling or smoking, by resolving not to indulge in any of them in the coming year.
And one man who wants to give hope to others by telling his story is Cappamore's Jimmy Coleman, who believes there is always a way out.
"For 24 years alcohol ruined my life, but this was my third Christmas without it," said Mr Coleman.
He says it isn't easy and this year was the worst due to the economic situation, but every day he keeps fighting.
In his youth he was a champion dancer, but stopped for over 20 years due to alcohol.
"I often sat at the (bar) counter thinking if I kept up dancing that I would be dancing in All-Irelands, and I wondered if I would ever dance again," said Mr Coleman.
That wondering stopped one day in Gort in late 2009 when he took to the floor with his daughter, Rebecca, 12, to compete in the All-Ireland ballroom quickstep competition and came second.
"Dancing in the All-Irelands was the best and most emotional thing that has happened to me since I gave up alcohol. It was a dream come true for me, and especially with my children. We came second, and another daughter, Rachel, 11, and Richie Harty came third, but believe me it wasn't about winning – just to be dancing there was fantastic for me.
That is something I will take to my grave," said Mr Coleman.
To complete the day his daughters, Rachel and Rebecca won four All-Irelands and his seven-year-old son, Kenneth, and his partner, Danielle Ryan claimed the U10 ballroom dancing title.
It only took one step to go from the counter to the dancefloor, but the journey took a thousand miles.
On his worst days, Mr Coleman liked to start with a drink at 9.30am, and even when his father on his death bed asked him to give it up, he was in the pub two hours later.
"In September 2007 I was sick of being sick. I used to tell a friend of mine I was a hopeless case. He replied: 'There is no such thing if you really want it' and you do want it Jimmy'. And, thank God, I still want it today."
His life was controlled by drink, but now it is dominated by his family and dancing, which never left him. Mr Coleman pulled on dancing shoes when he was just six years old.
"I used to do Irish and ballroom dancing, but I really loved the ballroom. I used to turn on the record player and dance around the kitchen with my mother Maureen, and would set dance in neighbours' kitchens practising for competitions.
"As years passed I used to dance with the senior set dancers, and then I started ballroom dancing with Pauline Hynan, who also taught me.
"We used to go to competitions. In that time they would be haybarn dances. There was a Munster dancing event in Caherconlish I will always remember. First prize was a trophy and 60. I remember being carried up on my friends' shoulders when we won. But then at the age of 17 I fell in love with something else – the stuff that ruined my life for 24 years – alcohol," he said.
He got married and had children, but lived like a single man because of drink.
"I got married to a wonderful woman, Maisie. We were married 25 years last March, and had seven wonderful children, but I lived as a single man for 22 years because of my addiction.
"I was a very selfish and controlling person, but I know today it was my addiction that controlled me. I tried to give up alcohol at the age of 22 for my family, my wife, my mother and children. My mother and my wife hated drink. I am not going to go in to a drunken log, but I will say that 5B was my hiding place. I was safe in there, hiding away from all my problems.
"My mother and father did their best for me, trying to tell me to stop drinking, but with no joy. I'd do it for a while and then I'd pick up that first drink. It's the first drink for me that will take me to a life of misery. I honestly used to pray to God to take me in my sleep, but, today, I don't want to die until it's God's time."
He's a grandfather now to Taylor and Jade and is keeping true to the 12-step programme.
"I'm not going to mention names, but there are people who have been very helpful to me and to us this Christmas and all year, and I would like to thank them. I would like to thank the people I love the most, my children, Michelle, James, Brian, Aishling, Rachel, Rebecca and Kenneth, and the most important, who I put through hell and back, my wife, Maisie," said Jimmy.
He's back dancing and can be seen regularly at tea dances in Drombane, Knockainey, Dromin, Cappawhite, Caherconlish and Hollyford. Mr Coleman is even planning a charity dance in the new year.
"The most important thing in any given day is for me not to pick up a drink. By reading my story I want to give hope to others who are in a similar situation to me," he said.
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Monday 21 May 2012
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